“Boull Shyth!” That was a completely drunk me trying to say ‘Bull Shit’, and arguing with a friend of mine, Aryaan, during a football match we were watching at a bar. The club we were supporting had been awarded a free-kick, but it was very far from the goal, scoring from that kick was next to impossible. “I’ll do anytheeng if we ssscore, anytheeeeng. I’ll give youu one lac crore ruupeesss if whee score thees…”Okay I agree it wasn’t my finest moment, but c’mon you got me, right? It was impossible to score!
“I’ll do anytheeeng…ifff…he scoresss…anytheenngg…anythh…” I hadn’t finished my sentence and the whole bar erupted, they jumped from their seats and the commentator went berserk, saying “Are you kidding me? Did that really happen? How on Earth did he score that?”….
I tried to make myself believe that this was one of the pranks which alcohol plays on your senses when too much of it gets inside your system. But it wasn’t. I was left stunned. I looked pretty much like the ‘straight-face’ emoticon of the BlackBerry Messenger instant messaging system, stunned not only in awe of the goal which I just witnessed, but also losing a bet which had the odds completely in my favor. I was convinced it was more of the latter.
I was trying to avoid eye contact with Aryaan, who had a dirty ‘you-owe-me-big-time’ smirk on his face. “Okay okay, what do… youuu want meee to…do?” I asked him in a defeated tone. After much thinking, Aryaan said “You won’t speak for 24 hours, starting tonight, from midnight.”
I hardly could believe my ears, I literally asked him to repeat himself. ‘Aah! Cakewalk! What a waste of an opportunity. Dumb Aryaan, this should be very easy.’ I was celebrating in my head. But, I had no idea how hard the day ahead of me was going to be.
The first tryst with my muteness came when I had to hire a rickshaw to get home. Though I luckily found a rickshaw right outside the bar, telling him the destination was my first hiccup. I typed out ‘Lokhandwala’ on my cell phone and showed it to the rickshaw driver, feeling very very stupid. Maybe this wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.
An abrupt sleep is the last thing I want after a drunken night, and an abrupt sleep is what I got. My brother poured drops of cold water right inside my ear, ‘just for kicks’! I was going to explode, ready to unleash the vast repertoire of swears in my arsenal, but I somehow managed to stop myself in time. ‘Aaaarrgghhhhh!’ I let it out in my mind. Smart boy, Aryaan. I said to myself.
I hardly could believe my ears, I literally asked him to repeat himself. ‘Aah! Cakewalk! What a waste of an opportunity. Dumb Aryaan, this should be very easy.’ I was celebrating in my head. But, I had no idea how hard the day ahead of me was going to be.
The first tryst with my muteness came when I had to hire a rickshaw to get home. Though I luckily found a rickshaw right outside the bar, telling him the destination was my first hiccup. I typed out ‘Lokhandwala’ on my cell phone and showed it to the rickshaw driver, feeling very very stupid. Maybe this wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.
An abrupt sleep is the last thing I want after a drunken night, and an abrupt sleep is what I got. My brother poured drops of cold water right inside my ear, ‘just for kicks’! I was going to explode, ready to unleash the vast repertoire of swears in my arsenal, but I somehow managed to stop myself in time. ‘Aaaarrgghhhhh!’ I let it out in my mind. Smart boy, Aryaan. I said to myself.
I put up a ‘Can’t talk. Please text.’ status throughout the whole day. I didn’t go anywhere that day, until I got a message from Aryaan saying -
‘Meet me at 11 PM. Same place.
P.S – I somehow resisted calling you. Haha.’
Aryaan the Bitch.
I entered the bar, for the first and the last time, clutching a bundle of A4 sized blank sheets and a pen. I scribbled ‘1 KingFisher jug’ and handed it to the bartender, drawing shocking as well as sympathetic looks from the bartender and onlookers. Aryaan walked in, beaming with pride, and started bombarding me with his dirty tactics to make me speak. I just sat there drinking my beer quietly, with one eye on the clock, desperately waiting for 12 to strike soon.
It was 11.59 PM, and Aryaan kept trying to get something out of me. “Chirag, bro why aren’t you talking? What’s up?” WACK!!!! The entire bar went silent for a few moments. I had whacked him straight across his face.
“Nothing bro, by the way that’s going to hurt, maybe for a couple of days. That’s what’s up.” I spoke, after one whole day.
I looked up at the clock – 12.01 AM. “Aah, that felt good!” I exclaimed.
No comments:
Post a Comment