“Just 2 minutes left now, and I still have to write an entire answer.
Crap!” I told myself while my pen was road-running simultaneously on the
exam answer paper.
Blatantly ignoring the
burning pain in my wrist and forearm, I somehow sprinted through that final
answer in the last 2 minutes. The moment I put the final full-stop of the final
answer, the fat, smelly, and for some reason, very angry woman, who was manning
the class, came and snatched my paper away with zero respect for us or the
paper whatsoever.
I just had a moment’s
time to catch a glimpse of my handwriting on the last few pages. I swear to
God, the handwriting was worse than that of a doctor’s.
I couldn’t care less
though, for that was my last examination. I was done for good! I never had to
see my ‘noisy-and-faulty-fan-equipped’ exam centre, nor did I have to sit on
benches which threatened to collapse if I moved my bum a bit too much. A guy somewhere
behind me let out a “khatam ho gaya…” (followed
by a few cuss words). Of course it wasn’t a very civil thing to do, but I could
see where he was coming from, hence I didn’t pay much attention to his joyous
yet obscene outburst.
I capped my pen and saw
my dear friend Ria, who happened to sit right in front of me, turn around and
look at me. We shared a ‘Yes-it-is-over’ look, which was followed by a wide
grin by both of us.
Suddenly, even the
scorching heat of 5 PM during the summer season was not bothering us anymore,
like it did during the previous examinations. We could feel the breeze of
freedom touch our skin. We could feel the scent of joy and relief fill up our
lungs. We were completely in the zone. It was a good high, this.
Then something bad
happened though. As Ria rejoiced in ecstasy, she almost squealed and said, “Finally, all exams done, Chirag! Forever!
So, what now?”
She asked ‘So, what now?’
That phrase stuck in my head. Those 3 little words, they were like the
strongest buzz killers. It felt like all the happiness was suddenly sucked out
of me. I felt like Harry Potter being attacked by the Dementors. I didn’t feel
joy anymore.
You might probably be
wondering as to why I would feel bad about this particular question. Let me
give you’ll a brief reason - We no longer represented a particular college. We
no longer attended lectures and occupied the benches of a classroom. We no
longer were ‘students’ – a tag which has been ubiquitous since the last 15
years. The college Identification cards around our necks were soon to be
replaced by the corporate world’s dog-leash. Our student life was over that day.
It was all gone. It definitely looked like a scary prospect.
Ria’s ‘So, what now?’
made its comeback in my chain of thoughts and teleported me into a deep state
of thought, as it does very often.
I thought long and hard
for an answer to her question, but I found none. This was a difficult question
and a different situation because usually, there was always something waiting
for us the next year. When we completed 9th grade, we knew that the
10th grade was waiting for us. When we finished school, we knew that
college was the next thing for us. But, what now? I mean, what does a
mountaineer do after he successfully completes the journey to the top of Mount
Everest? All I’m trying to understand is what happens when a journey is over,
or rather what happens AFTER you reach the destination? Our destination all
this while has been to simply complete our studies. What comes next?
The junction where my
contemporaries and I have reached now is that of confusion and delusion. It is
that point of time where we leave our world of 15 years behind and hit ‘F5’ button
on our keyboard of life.
I have to confess, I
thought that I never missed my school and was also under the impression that I
will never miss college too. That was perhaps the case because we were under
the ridiculous assumption that college will last forever. I was always someone
who was keen on wrapping up college at the earliest. ‘The sooner the better’, I
used to say. I was also a firm believer
of ‘Change is good’, but I now learn that I could not be any more wrong here.
Change can suck at times. Therefore, the adage of ‘You never realize the worth
of something until its gone’ could not be more relevant at this point of time.
It suddenly hits us that it is all a part of the past now, and I am convinced
that there will come a point of time when I will miss my school/college.
So now my message goes
out to those who are younger than me academically. You have a genuine gift which
you don’t realize – time. Enjoy it while it lasts, because trust me, the
college identification card looks much better around your neck than a corporate
dog-leash.
And as for my fellow
batch mates, I know that we have lost something which we didn’t perhaps value
much. But now, not much can be done about it. We have no choice but to look
ahead and ask ourselves – ‘So, what now?’
You just scared the shitt out of me. I just have 2 years of college life left :(
ReplyDeleteCherish every moment of every day, trust me on this!
ReplyDelete